5 Months!

Noah turned 5 months on Tuesday. Here's a rundown of what he's up to these days.

• Wears size 2 diapers
• Wears 3-6 and 6 month clothing
• Weighs around 14.5 pounds
• Eats 4-6 ounces per bottle, and eats 6-7 times per day
• Still exclusively breastfed (either by bottle or from the tap)
• Still wakes up overnight every night for a meal :(
• Still lacks a good head of hair
• His eyes are currently hazel, mostly bluish gray on the outside, and brownish green around the iris
• Stays up longer periods of time, 2-3 hours at a time
• Loves to smile
• Belly laughs on occasion, giggles a lot
• Turns for voices sometimes, especially mommy’s
• Shows some stranger anxiety, mostly with Uncle Brady
• Loves to watch the dog
• Puts everything in his mouth, and loves to suck on his hands
• Likes to stick his tongue out
• Likes to fall asleep on his side
• Sleeps in a sleepsack (no more swaddle!)
• Sits up with support
• Loves to stand with support
• When standing, he often tenses all of his muscles and grunts/yells
• Rolls over both directions, less back to front though (Daddy has yet to witness this talent)
• Actually jumps and “dances” in the Jumperoo
• Just started grabbing his feet

Nursing is still an ongoing struggle. He seems to have good weeks and bad weeks. I'm starting to suspect it might have to do with my diet. Last week we had a lot of home-cooked meals and I packed healthy lunches each day, and Noah nursed extremely well. This week we ate out every night and my lunches were crap, and Noah has been pretty fussy and nursing poorly. Definitely something for me to think about. I guess I have to get over my aversion of grocery shopping. Anything for my little man. I love him SO much!

Crying Over Spilled Milk

2.5 ounces, all over the table and floor of my office. 6.5 ounces was spared. Oh well. (I can't complain too much because I pumped 9 oz in one sitting!) But I won't make that mistake again. I also turned the baby monitor off in my sleep last night, so I slept until almost 6:00am. Noah was awake but didn't seem upset. Bad mommy today!

Sleepsack Success!

Maybe Noah has been trying to tell me something for a while now. On Sunday, after weeks of fighting with the swaddle, I decided to try one nap with just a sleepsack. I thought arms-free sleeping was going to be the struggle of a lifetime. But guess what? Noah took two nice naps in a row, so I decided to jeopardize my sanity and try a night long attempt at the sleepsack. He woke up once for a pacifier, and once to eat. Last night he only woke up to eat. All of his naps have gone fine. In fact, I think he may be even happier without the swaddle, because as it turns out, my little man loves to turn on his side and fall asleep that way and he couldn't do that in the confinement of the swaddle. I am so glad I bit the bullet and gave the sleepsack a try!

Noah also blessed me with a weekend of excellent nursing, and I've pumped personal record amounts over the last two days. I'm very happy about all of this, because if I can hold off on the formula at least until 6 months, I will feel like less of a failure. (Repeat to self, Lisa, "You are doing the best you can!") ;) Of course, everything could change in the matter of hours, so we'll see how it all plays out.

Challenges

It's been a challenging week to say the least. On the nursing front, I was becoming concerned that my supply was dropping, and maybe it is, but I feel a little better this weekend. Noah has been eating a little bit better, and refusing the nipple less than last weekend. I have some formula that Enfamil sent me long before he was born, but I'm holding out on using it. I would love to breastfeed exclusively until 6 months, and introduce rice cereal just before that mark. However, a month and a half is a long time in baby land, so we'll see. I just have to tell myself that no matter what happens, I have done the absolute best that I can.

The other big issue that has arisen is the looming death of the swaddle. My little Houdini has become too strong for his Swaddle Me, so I often wake up to his cries when he has freed himself. He seems to have no idea how to control his arms and keep them from smacking his face or launching his pacifier out of his mouth. For so long I thought we were so smart for using the swaddle because it helped him sleep and he could soothe himself. Now I wish we had never used it. It's so insanely hard to wean him from it! I've tried the one arm out trick which he is doing ok with, but it seems to make it easier for him to get his other arm free. As of this moment, he has been sleeping in just a sleepsack for almost an hour, so I'm holding out hope that we're making progress. Baby steps... no pun intended! I also want to get rid of the swaddle because my little man finally rolled over back to front last weekend! I'm so proud, but the thought of him rolling onto his tummy while confined in the swaddle scares me a bit!

This was how I found Noah yesterday morning, looking quite proud and amused. He almost completely defeated his swaddle, except for one leg. Silly little monkey. He cracks me up!

Broken Record

I feel like one. It seems like the biggest issue I have as a mom is with breastfeeding. It makes me so frustrated and stressed out when Noah stops nursing well. I was all excited for a three-day weekend with the little guy, but I've mostly just been miserable. He has been nursing terribly, except overnight. Yesterday he nursed for a total of 46 minutes overnight, then only 20 more minutes the rest of the day. Every time I fed him, he would pull away repeatedly, grunt, and tense up his body. The only time he ate well was when he took a bottle while we were at a friend's house. This morning has been more of the same. After he ate, I brought him downstairs where he proceeded to spit up all over himself and me. He also kept screaming and tensing up. I just don't know what to think or do anymore. I've tried other nursing positions (which I absolutely suck at), feeding more frequently, feeding less frequently, but in the end he seems happiest with a bottle. And pumping at work is so hard because I have kind of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants job. I'm often reacting to kids melting down or surprise meetings with teachers or parents, so it's often hard to pump when I need to. It feels pretty awkward (and sometimes rude) to have to tell people that I need to go pump. I really want to stick with breastfeeding, but sometimes I wonder if it's worth the stress it puts on me. Shouldn't I just enjoy my time with Noah, rather than cry in frustration?