Thoughts on 2009

I wanted to take a minute to reflect on what a year 2009 has been, but first I'll update on my unplanned OB appointment this morning. For the last few days I've been feeling weird pressure in weird places, so I called the OB yesterday and they had me make a last-second appointment for this morning. Everything was good, and the nurse explained that as my uterus grows larger and moves further up and out of my abdomen I will experience more and more unusual aches and pains. The nurse also did a quick cervix check, and she described it as "long, long, long, and closed." I like the sound of that. So my mind is back at ease and 2009 can continue to end on a high note.

I have mixed feelings about this year. January through May were probably the worst 5 consecutive months of my life, and of our marriage. If someone told me in April that we would still be married and expecting a little baby boy one year from then, I would have been relieved and thrilled... and I am!! I would never want to give up the time from July until now, as I have loved every minute of being pregnant. So overall, 2009 was a rollercoaster of great highs and the lowest of lows. I'm ready for the new year, and excited for all that it will bring us (especially holding our baby boy and 4 months of summer vacation thanks to good timing on our part)!

Here's hoping that 2010 is a wonderful new year for you as well, and if you're still stuck on the IF rollercoaster (from hell), I hope it's a FERTILE year, too!!!

24w0d

Christmas has come and gone just as fast as it usually seems to. I could have received no gifts this year and been perfectly content just to be pregnant. It's truly the best gift I could ever hope for. I hope 2010 brings many of my Cycle Sista and IRL friends healthy pregnancies of their own! Too many of you have been waiting so much longer than anyone should have to.

Today we used our Christmas money to order the swivel/glider chair and ottoman for our nursery. (Click here to see it.) We'll have to wait 4-8 weeks since it's a custom order type thing, but we have time. It's so comfortable, I might even sleep in it before baby is born!

24 week update:

Current cravings: Chocolate (it had to happen eventually)

Current energy level: Great! A full week of sleeping-in has helped!

Current appetite: I can eat a lot more at a time now

Current mood: Happy

Baby movement: Sometimes I think he's throwing a dance party in there!

Oh, My Aching...

Hips! Sleeping is becoming a rather painful experience. I often wake up to find myself on my back, which makes my back hurt. But sleeping on my sides is absolutely killing my hips. Anybody out there have a good tip to help?

Otherwise, everything is going well. I had my 24 week appointment yesterday and baby seems to be doing just fine. His heart rate was in the 140s, but it took a while to locate. The nurse kept finding my heartbeat, and every time I think it skipped a beat. I kept thinking, "That's way too slow!!!" I worry much less these days since baby kicks, punches, and body spasms on an hourly basis, but I can still scare easily! And as for me, I've gained 13 pounds on the nose. I'm very happy with that. It's never been easy for me to put on any weight, and that's about the exact number the doctor said I should gain by now. Apparently it should start climbing fast now since it's time for baby to start packing it on.

My dad came into town Tuesday night. He brought his dog (a welsh corgi), who doesn't mesh too well with other dogs. Within minutes of getting home from dinner, we were peeling Shannon off of Gilbert, who clung to me until they left shortly after. My poor puppy! I already feel bad for him and how neglected he'll be in 4 months. Yesterday we decided to keep the dogs separate all day, so my dad took me shopping at Hot Mama as part of my Christmas present. My closet and I are extremely thankful! :)

Christmas this year is so much more fun and joyous being pregnant. Last Christmas we had pretty much just found out that trying the old-fashioned way was going to get us nowhere, and we were pretty depressed. I listened to the Charlie Brown Christmas CD our friends made us on a daily basis because it seemed melancholy and relaxing. I still love that CD, but now it makes me feel happy and relaxed. A much better combination. Thank God for science and miracles!!

23w0d

This is gonna be short and sweet. Brian's parents have been with us since Saturday morning to celebrate Christmas. We got some great baby loot, including a stroller travel system, a pack and play, and several adorable outfits. It's been fun visiting with them! Brian gave me my Christmas gift today. It's a plug-in back massager, and possibly the most thoughtful and perfect gift he's ever given me. Now it's time to prepare for my dad's arrival tomorrow night. I love winter break and all that goes along with it!

23 week update:

Current mood: Relaxed

Current appetite: Seems to be normalizing, maybe

Baby movement: Much to Wendy's dismay, baby has been a little sluggish the last few days. But most days he goes totally wild around 9:00pm. Hopefully that will change when he's born!

22w0d

Not a lot new this week. We registered at Babies R Us over the weekend. It wasn't quite as fun as I had imagined it would be, and it didn't help that the dusty atmosphere of the store was bothering Brian's allergies halfway through. The most annoying part though was getting home to find that when I view the registry online, no pictures show up, and only 7 of the 42 items have a price listed. It says all items are "in-store" only, so people can't even order stuff from our registry online and have it shipped. Oh no. You have to go to the store, find it, buy it, and ship it. Soooo helpful. We'll definitely be registering at Target as well.

I went to a baby shower yesterday for a friend who is due in January. It was fun seeing what she got (I was taking mental notes for our registry), but it also made me really anxious for my own shower. Part of me is still stuck in that "when will it be me?" mentality. It's weird. Unfortunately planning showers is also going to be a hassle since most people who want to throw me one live in MN, and I don't want to fly while I'm pregnant. We'll have to see how it all works out.

22 week update:

Current cravings: Nothing

Current energy level: Pretty good

Current appetite: I like to eat

Current mood: Excited for winter break to start!

Baby movement: Baby's movements are getting strong! He's quite an active little guy. :)

Here's a still frame from our video of the ultrasound. His face is on the right, looking directly at the screen.

Me at 22w0d

It's A...

BOY!!!

Ah yes, everyone I know is having boys. I guess we're just going with the flow. The ultrasound was pretty amazing, and we videotaped it for posterity. The doctor explained everything in more detail than I could sometimes comprehend. I was holding my breath a lot since I didn't know if he would say something good or bad about each organ system. Everything looked good, minus a condition called pyelectasis. Basically, the kidneys aren't draining fluid as fast as it's building up. Apparently he has a mild condition of this, and it could very well correct itself before birth. But he'll need an ultrasound 4-6 weeks after birth to make sure there are no structural anomalies within the kidneys. The doctor also mentioned that my placenta was kind of low, so he wants me back at 32 weeks to check on it. He suspected that might also self-correct as my uterus grows, and for now I have no restrictions on activity. It's amazing how I can get so much good news (brain, heart, spine, etc. look good), and all I walk away remembering are the words "pyelectasis" and "low placenta." I'll try not to worry too much...

We went out to Target afterwards and bought a boy outfit, then went home, loaded the video onto the computer, and called our parents to Skype with them. The awesome part was being able to use the screen share function to show them the video. It was fun to see their reactions as they watched.

This weekend we'll finally register. And it's time to get serious on the baby name front. Let the fun begin!!

21 Weeks

Anticipation of tomorrow's ultrasound is running high here! The poll I set up is confirming my prediction of boy. Two of our friends back in MN are expecting as well, and we're all due within a month of each other. They're both having boys, and you would think someone has to have a girl (I swear nearly everyone I know has had boys!!!). But, I still think this little munchkin has boy parts. My jaw will drop if I hear otherwise. We've devised a fun way to let our parents know tomorrow night, but I can't divulge the plan here since both grandmas actively follow my blog. :) No matter what the results, I can't wait to see what baby looks like now. It's going to be so cool!!!

21 week update:

Current cravings: Nothing

Current energy level: A little tired here and there

Current appetite: Hungry!

Current mood: Excited and impatient!

Baby movement: Baby's kicks, punches, and rolls are getting pretty darn obvious. It's amazing to see it kick through clothing. Yesterday was also the first time it felt like baby maybe discovered my bladder. For a couple minutes, every time s/he kicked it made me feel like I had to pee!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I must look especially large today, because all of the kids were commenting about my belly. This morning it started with a classroom aide stating that I "popped." Then this adorable little kindergarden girl pipes up and questions, "You have a baby in there?!" She just kept staring at me, mostly in what looked like disgust. Later on I was holding my anger management group with two rambunctious 3rd grade boys. As I was bringing them back to class, one of them commented, "Miss, you look pregnant." Um, yes sweetie, I am. The other boy contributed this gem: "Pregnant women are always grumpy." From the mouths of babes. They seriously crack me up.

Half Cooked - 20 Weeks

Brian would be happy to tell you that I'm very, um, precise when it comes to numbers. So although everyone says I'm at the halfway mark, I can't help but point out that 21 weeks should really be the halfway point. Baby didn't even exist for the first two weeks of this pregnancy, so s/he's only 18 of 38 weeks right now. Oh well. I'll just go with it.

It was a lot of fun having my mom and stepdad in town. I love that my mom finally got to feel her grandbaby kick. We're already looking forward to Brian's parent's visit in a few weeks. I was discussing with Brian that it seems like a lot of people move away from home to get away from their crazy families. But we both really like ours. Perhaps Colorado won't be our permanent home after all. But I'll try not to get my mom's hopes up.

20 week update:

Current cravings: It's not really a craving, but I'm loving pumpkin pie right now.

Current energy level: Not bad

Current appetite: Ravenous

Current mood: Content

Baby movement: I think we have a future wild child on our hands!

Thankful

We had an excellent Thanksgiving, minus my brother being too sick to join us. I'm thankful for too many things to list, but at the very top would be my husband, our families, our baby, and Dr. Albrecht. I'm also very thankful to cyclesista for connecting me to so many amazing, deserving women. I hope it's back up and running normally soon!

As expected, I crashed and burned quite early. Gilbert discovered that he loves my body pillow even more than I do. (And look! We got him groomed!)

I See You!

This morning I discovered that not only can we feel baby move, we can see baby move. Whenever s/he gives me a good whack, you can see my tummy move. I think I must be growing a freakishly strong little thing! Brian had fun this morning poking the spot that was moving. Baby responded several times before getting irritated and changing positions.

I'm seriously looking forward to my mom and stepdad's arrival this evening. We decided to stay in Denver for all of the holidays, so everyone is coming to us at some point. The last time I saw my mom was the day I took my first HPT. I can't wait for her to see me now that I actually look pregnant!

19w0d - A Sigh of Relief

Today I was finally fed up with the waiting. I called the OB and asked if they knew anything about the AFP3 test results. They've been sitting in my chart for God knows how long. Apparently we should have been told that no news would be good news, but since we weren't I kept checking my test results online to no avail. And it is good news: a negative screen. Hurray!

We are two weeks away from finding out the sex of our little one. All of our family thinks it's a boy at this point. It seems like everyone I know that had an easy pregnancy had a boy, and everyone with a rough, morning sickness-laden pregnancy had a girl. Baby is also extremely active, which makes me think boy. I took a couple of cheesy online gender prediction quizzes with mixed results. And the needle over the tummy trick said girl, but we shall see!

19 week update:

Current cravings: Nada

Current energy level: I've become a morning person. I'm always in bed by 10pm.

Current appetite: Let's put it this way. I've been having Thanksgiving feast fantasies for a month, at least! And usually I don't care much about it.

Current mood: Relieved

Baby movement: Baby has become quite active. Brian is able to feel him/her move daily as well. It's so much fun to share that with him!

Finally, I want to send out some prayers and support to my fellow cyclesista Allison, who lost her precious son Wyatt last week at 18 weeks. It's just so unfair.

Guilty Conscience

Ever since the stimming process in July, I have put a lot of limits on the current "baby" of our household, the dog. Poor Gilbert hasn't been allowed to sit in my lap nearly as much as he used to. He tends to be a bit of a spazz, and whoever told us he would mellow with age was seriously mistaken. So it freaks me out to have him in my lap because he often jumps right on where I picture my uterus to be. Back when we were trying to conceive naturally, I often worried that maybe I had been pregnant, but one of the blows Gilbert gave me ended it before I ever knew. In hindsight, that probably never happened, but I think it's better to be safe than sorry. Lately, I've started to feel kind of guilty about it all. The poor guy so desperately wants my attention and affection, and I know it'll only get worse in 5 months. My dreams have started to reflect my guilt, too. I've started dreaming about giving him away, or losing him only to later find him injured. I wake up feeling relieved, but also sad for him. Poor doggie. (I'm sure part of my guilt also stems from how we've grossly neglected his grooming. He's not good with strangers and used to be sedated (for a hefty price) every time he got a haircut. We finally found a miracle worker that can groom him without sedation, but she's only available Tuesdays. Since we have to drop him off 20 miles to the north between 7:30-8:30am, it makes finding a good time difficult!)

In other news, baby is becoming a moving machine! I feel him/her constantly, which is so reassuring. We're still waiting for the results of the AFP3 testing. It's been 2 weeks... how long did other people have to wait??? Oh, and I've added a poll to see if people have any ideas on what might be in there. My guess is a boy. I don't know why, but I have a strong feeling.

18w0d - The Discomfort Begins

Yesterday I was on my feet a lot. By the evening, my back and stomach were both killing me. I'm starting to wonder if I'm going to make it to April! How can I be so sore and uncomfortable already? I'm not complaining. I would rather be in my current state than frustrated and not pregnant. But still. As they would say in my native Minnesota, Uff Da!

18 week update:

Current cravings: Nothing really

Current energy level: Still not adjusted to the early darkness. Crazy.

Current appetite: Voracious

Current mood: Good I guess

Baby movement: I'm definitely feeling little kicks, punches, and what I think are body rolls. Twice now I've been able to feel it with my hand. It's amazing!

The progress from 16 weeks to 18 weeks is insane!!!

Brian's First Kick!

It may sound hard to believe, but at 17w5d, baby kicked (or punched) hard enough that Brian was able to feel it last night. It has become quite clear to me that I'm feeling movement, and I can definitely separate it from normal digestion, gas, and hunger pangs. It's been happening daily for about a week and a half, but extremely sporadically. I love it!!!!

17w0d

Since the OB appointment there isn't a lot new to report. I've been feeling really frustrated about my current wardrobe. Although I have some maternity clothing, it feels like I'm playing dress-up with it on. It's all a little big still at this point. But all of my regular clothing seems to be shrinking and becoming much less comfortable. I feel like a frump no matter what I do. I'm also incredibly bipolar about my size. In the morning I wake up and think, "I'm not big enough" and then at the end of the day, I worry that I'm too big. Does anyone else notice a huge change throughout the day? I swear I double in size after dinner.

I called to make the appointment for the 20 week u/s, but I had to push it back to 21 weeks. I'm a little disappointed (I was hoping to do it at 19 weeks), but apparently they have one full schedule. So we'll know if baby is a boy or girl on December 8. Can't wait!

17 week update:

Current cravings: Nothing really

Current energy level: Daylight savings ended and I'm all messed up, which usually doesn't effect me.

Current appetite: Same as last week

Current mood: Happy

Current weight: According to the OB last week, 115.5

Baby movement: I have no idea what I feel!!

17 weeks

Bad Blood

I found out today that I'm Rh-, so I'm going to get a shot at 28 weeks to prevent my body from developing antibodies against a potentially Rh+ baby's cells. If baby turns out to be Rh+, then I get another shot after delivery. Yay! More shots! ;)

My appointment was a little uneventful otherwise. I like the OB. He reminds me of a grad school professor that we all adored. We got to listen to the heartbeat. He told us that sometimes you can hear baby move, and it sounds kind of like a record scratch. Then, right on cue, baby started squirming around and we heard his/her DJ skills. Pretty cute! No ultrasound today. I have to call tomorrow and set one up for 20 weeks. So 4 weeks til we know if it's snakes and snails, or sugar and spice. I'm dying to know, but I will be ecstatic either way.

Is That You?

I've found myself extremely distracted lately. All the books I've been reading say that baby movement is often first noticed sometime between 16-18 weeks, with many women not really realizing it until 20 weeks or so. So every time I feel a little rumble or bubble burst sensation, or sometimes what feels like something somersaulting, I can't help but wonder... is that you in there?? In a meeting today I realized I was totally in another world wondering if my tummy sensations were kicks or digestion. And after I walked Gilbert I felt a few very noticeable twitches in my lower abdomen. I can't wait until it's obvious to me!

Tomorrow is my 16 week check-up, and the first time I'll meet my actual OB and not just a nurse practitioner. I think it's also the first time I'm excited for an appointment instead of nervous and worried. Now that my belly is popping out more and more, it's very reassuring to me that baby MUST be growing! And today I even had my first, "Um... are you...???" She looked very relieved that she wasn't mistaken when I told her yes. (I should have said no and acted offended, just for a second, but maybe that would have been mean.) I hope I get an ultrasound tomorrow. I can't imagine how much different s/he looks now!

16 Weeks

16 weeks

Maternity clothing shopping turned out to be more fun than I expected. It helped that my dad gave me a very generous gift card to Hot Mama. If you can afford it, I would say it's worth the money. The sales associate picked out everything for me so I didn't have to wander around like an idiot not knowing what to grab. (Have I mentioned how much I hate shopping?) She had me try on a fake belly to see how things would fit as I get bigger. Once it was strapped on, I stared in disbelief into the mirror. "Am I really going to get that big?!" The sales associate and my friend just laughed and said, "Bigger." I think I'll just tip over. Yikes. I am so glad I got some new pants for work. It felt like I was wearing pajamas all day. The Be Band can suck it!

16 week update:

Current cravings: Nothing really

Current energy level: Much improved

Current appetite: Constantly hungry, but once I start eating I fill up fast!

Current mood: Content

Current weight: 116-118, depending on the time of day

Baby movement: Not yet

What Not to Expect When You're Expecting

I've realized there are a lot of things no one ever seems to mention about being pregnant, at least not to me. Here's a list of some of the things I've discovered so far.

1. Hair growth on the tummy. I'm not a fan, at all.

2. Round ligament pain. Ouch.

3. A growing bust is not nearly as fun as it sounds.

4. Your first ultrasounds are done vaginally. (But I did get a heads up from the IVF.)

5. A constantly stuffy nose.

In other news, I wish I had taken a before photo facing the camera. I noticed yesterday that my waist has basically disappeared. Today I am on the hunt for comfortable fitting pants. I tried some on at Motherhood Maternity yesterday. It didn't go well. Either the waist was HUGE, or the legs were way too short. I have a feeling my lifelong shopping struggles have just gotten much, much worse. I'll try Hot Mama and GAP maternity today, but I'm not holding my breath.

Blizzard Day 2

This is the same view as of this morning. Holy crap, right?! I am so glad I dumped my Honda Civic this summer and bought a Subaru. It was able to get us out for dinner last night. Brian got a second snow day today. His school is up in the foothills at 8300 ft, and they have had 28 inches! Here down the hill we've had 19. And as I'm typing this, a huge branch that provides a lot of privacy in the summer just broke and fell in our yard. Bummer!!! At least it spared the fence! :(

Mini Blizzard!

Our back patio as of noon.

It's not even November, and today the Denver metro area is having it's first snow day! I am already on fall break, but Brian got the best phone call at 5:15am telling him to stay in bed. Amazingly, they still delivered our baby furniture!

15w0d

Last week I was struggling with a cold. I ended up falling asleep by 7:00pm last Monday, and when I woke up I felt tons better. I did have a nasty bloody nose on Tuesday, but by the end of the day I was fully recovered from all of it. That's the fastest I think I've ever gotten over something!

We've been keeping busy on the baby front. Over the weekend we painted the nursery. It's a bright, light green color called "Spirit Whisper." Where do they come up with these names? That's the least descriptive title I've ever heard. And how do I get that job? What a cake walk. Our crib and dresser are being delivered on Wednesday, supposedly. I'm excited to finally have a place to put the baby clothes we've received as gifts already. It's still crazy to me every time a package shows up in the mail. It's like, wait a minute. Oh my god! This is really happening! The other night I stayed up and watched 9 Months on HBO. It's an old movie starring Hugh Grant and Julianne Moore where they accidentally get pregnant (I'll never understand how people do that...). When it came to the delivery scene, it totally struck me. Holy shit. I am having a baby. Sometimes it feels like we're still in the infertility process. Follicle counts, check. Retrieval and transfer, check. Ultrasounds, check. It's just one long journey of hurry up and wait. Except at the end of this part of the process, we really will have a baby. It's hard to put it into words I guess, so if that makes no sense, I apologize.

This week my school district gets a fall break, which means no work Wednesday-Friday. I'm beyond thrilled! My plan is to finally drag myself to a maternity clothing store. I'm sick of the Be Band because it never stays in place, and I can't deny anymore that my cups runneth over (translation: I need new bras). I loathe shopping in general, and maternity wear sounds especially irritating to shop for. Wish me luck!

15 week update:

Current cravings: Someone mentioned Dairy Queen the other day, and it's been on my mind ever since

Current energy level: I can stay up past 9:00 again!

Current appetite: No problems there

Current mood: Excited for a break!

Current weight: ??

Baby movement: nada

In case I don't post again til next week, Happy Halloween everybody!!

14w0d

I'm starting the 14 week mark with a cold. No fun. I woke up yesterday with a headache and sore throat. One of the lovelier side effects of pregnancy that I've been lucky enough to experience is bloody nose gunk. And yesterday, it was worse than normal. I've been drinking a lot of fluids and resting as much as possible. I promised myself at the beginning of the school year that I would be lenient with myself around sick days. Unfortunately, I'm so dang busy at work that I just can't do it right now. And that is just lame.

Since my head is pounding, I'm keeping it brief.

14 week update:

Current cravings: Nada

Current energy level: Under the weather

Current appetite: Ravenous

Current mood: Unhappy to be sick

13w6d

The bump is definitely growing, mostly to the north it seems.

Hello 2nd Trimester! (13w0d)

I can't even believe it! How did I get here? And how has it gone so fast already? When we were stuck in the midst of infertility, time just crawled. Now it's just flying! I am so, so, so thankful to have made it this far!!!!

So in addition to our crib, we ordered our bedding. I know I'm not interested in making everything gender specific, so we went with something that we thought was adorable. I mean really, is an infant even going to remember their nursery? We're the ones who should enjoy it! Once we get the bedding, we'll pick our wall color and finally paint over the hideous purple color that came with the house. I can't wait to start getting it all together!

As for me, my body is changing, all be it slowly. I can tell my belly button is less deep than it used to be, and I've sprouted this lovely patch of dark fuzzy hair all around it. The other day a coworker of mine actually lifted up my shirt to look at me. It was totally unexpected, and seriously unappreciated. No one needs to see my furry belly!!!! How embarrassing! My clothes are starting to feel more clingy, and pants are getting tighter and tighter. I can still button them, but it puts a lot of uncomfortable pressure on my abdomen so I've gotten a lot of use out of the Be Bands already. I complained to the nurse last week that I want to be bigger. She explained how my abs are still fighting a good fight and the baby is still small, yada yada yada. Then she told my husband he should make me put that statement in writing and have me sign and date it. I'm sure I'll eat those words in a few months. (But I do wish I was bigger. Go ahead, call me crazy!)

13 week update:

Current cravings: Everything sounds delicious minus Mexican food.

Current energy level: Slightly less tired

Current appetite: Out of control!!

Current mood: Thrilled!

Current weight: 114 (officially 113.6 at the OB on 10/8)

Nausea?: Nope

12w6d

Dream Count

Last night I dreamt that we had a baby girl. It was the first time I dreamt about an actual baby. Up until now I was only ever pregnant in my dreams. That brings the baby gender dream count to: Boy-2, Girl-2. I'll be thrilled no matter what.

This morning we had a faculty breakfast. I told the teachers at the table where I was sitting, and the next thing I know, one of the teachers yells out, "I have an announcement to make! Lisa is having a baby!" Then everyone started cheering and clapping. I think my face turned cherry red, but it was a great moment. I thank my lucky stars every day!

Ha Ha Ha!

That's me laughing at myself. The nurse told me I can come back anytime between now and my next appointment on Nov. 5 if I need reassurance. I like her, and I love this little baby!!

12w3d

Feeling Paranoid

I hope tomorrow I can look back at this and laugh at myself, but today I feel super paranoid that I've had a missed miscarriage. There's no reason to assume this, though at the same time there are no telltale signs or symptoms when it happens. It just comes as a shock at an appointment. When I woke up this morning I noticed how incredibly flat my tummy looked again. More flat than it's been in a while. By 12 weeks, I thought I would have more to show for it physically (especially since everything I read says underweight women tend to show earlier). Last night I had burning cramps for about one minute, which have not returned. I've felt a lot of little twinges and pains today. It's been a while since I've felt them like this. It all adds up to making me uneasy. Luckily I'll have some answers tomorrow afternoon. If I don't go crazy first...

A Mental Milestone (12w0d)

I've always thought of the 12 week mark as a major milestone. It seems like that's when most women feel comfortable making announcements. I can't believe I'm here! And I did decide to tell my principals today. It was a little less fun than I pictured in my head. No one seemed impressed. I guess most people just think of it as another person getting pregnant. But for me, it's such a miracle. If they only knew...

I'm anxiously waiting for my next OB appointment this Thursday. As far as I know, I'm not getting an ultrasound which bums me out. I would totally pay extra, and if they wanna use the wand I'd put my legs in stirrups in a heartbeat. (Oh how IVF cures modesty.) I am expecting a fetal heart rate check, so I guess that'll have to do. I'm also going to demand a flu shot. Like hell I'm waiting til their flu shot clinic on the 24th. All kinds of nasty stuff is going around all three of my schools. I need something NOW!

The in-laws were in town over the weekend. It was a nice visit, but too short. We did some baby shopping, and they were kind enough to buy us a crib and dresser. We don't have them yet, but you can check the crib out here.

12 week update:

Current cravings: Nothing really

Current energy level: Pretty tired still

Current appetite: HUNGRY!!

Current mood: Happy (for 12 weeks and for the Vikings winning so far :)

Current weight: 114

Nausea?: Nope

Baby bump: Oh, it's there, but no photo this week. 13 weeks will be the 2nd tri, so we'll get one up then. For now, I don't see much of a difference from last week and I blame any increase on some major constipation/bloating. I'm starting to feel chubby. When I'm sitting, my chest presses down and my pants push up, so my tummy is squished up like an accordion. Not enjoying it, but it's a nice constant reminder that something is growing in there!

11w0d

Not a lot new to report. With no weekly ultrasounds and doctor appointments, I've actually been a little more relaxed. Each appointment brings with it a little anxiety about whether all is still well, so with no impending appointments to dwell on I can just enjoy the ride. (Except the constipation part.)

Brian and I have an exciting week lined up. We'll be celebrating his Golden Birthday tomorrow and enjoying a visit from his mom, dad, and brother this weekend. Now more than ever I'm really looking forward to all the time we can get with our families. If only they weren't 900 miles away. Oops, that's our fault...

11 week update:

Current cravings: I guess I don't know if I have any cravings really. Some days certain foods just call my name. Today it's Lemon Artichoke Chicken. Yum!

Current energy level: Still ready for bed by 9:00 most nights. Slowly improving?

Current appetite: I constantly want to eat.

Current mood: Excited!

Current weight: I forgot to weigh myself this morning.

Nausea: Not really, but this morning I had phlegm in the back of my throat and it made me dry heave, HARD! Not the first time either.

And even I will finally admit it. I have a slowly growing baby bump. Bring it on, baby!!

10w6d

Double Digits! (10w0d)

Time is apparently flying, yet it seems to inch along, too. I can't believe I'm a quarter of the way there. Crazy. In some ways I still feel like I just found out. The lack of major symptoms or any bump to speak of makes it feel a little surreal, too. I can't button jeans comfortably, but I haven't been able to since the stimming, so that's no proof. I have to believe that any week now something will magically appear (other than my nightly food baby).

10 week update:

Current cravings: Oranges, spaghetti

Current energy level: Pretty darn sleepy

Current appetite: HUNGRY!!

Current mood: Growing optimism

Current weight: 112

Nausea?: Nope

And finally, some photos of me:

Pre-IVF

9w6d

Happy Birthday Max!

It's our little friend Max's 1st Birthday today! I remember going to visit him in the hospital a year ago today, at the peak of our naive "trying" phase. Our friends were assuring us, "it will happen for you soon!" One year later, they're finally right. :)

This week I had my first OB appointment. I liked the nurse, although her sappy, "oh, it's so cuuute" voice during the ultrasound was a bit much for me. I won't actually meet my doctor until Nov. 5th, but I did talk the nurse into letting me have another appointment in three weeks. She realized that I've been a bit spoiled with my other clinic and might actually die if I had to wait 7 weeks to see anyone again. The appointment itself was pretty uneventful. Four computer screens full of health history questions took about 30 minutes to get through. And then, ultrasound! Baby measured 9w4d, one day ahead of schedule. Their machine wasn't capable of hearing the heart beat, but it sure looked to be beating fast and strong. I saw little arms and legs, and a little wiggling here and there. Adorable! I'm dying to announce everything to my principals and coworkers, but I'm trying to hold out until week 12. I've been trying to talk myself out of constantly worrying and trying to enjoy this more. I started paging through pregnancy magazines last night and it got me all excited. I can't wait for registering and actually picking out stuff for this little baby!! And 7 months from today, s/he should be making his/her entrance!

Oh, and I had my second gender dream, and the score is: Boy - 2, Girl - 0.

9w3d

9w0d

I'm not so sure I really am 9w0d. I think I'm really 8w6d. When I had my last appointment at the fertility clinic, they gave me a copy of all of my bloodwork and ultrasounds up until now to review with my OB. I noticed that they have my LMP as 7/13, but it was 7/14. According to due date calculators and baby tickers, that makes me 8w6d due on April 20. Whatever. I like changing the number on Mondays, so I'll just stick with it until someone tells me otherwise. Maybe they get a little more specific when they know the exact moment of conception.

I've been reading some good pregnancy books. I recommend the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. It's way less "here's what might go wrong this month" oriented than WTEWYE. I also like The Pregnancy Journal because it goes day by day and has room to write and take notes. The problem I have with both of these books is that I can't read them and believe them. I'm having the hardest time accepting that all is well. I read everything as, "well, that might be happening, but maybe not." You would think after 2 positive ultrasounds that my mind would be eased, but no. And now I seriously doubt that the third u/s this week will help either. I can't imagine how insane I'm going to go after this week. I won't have another u/s until sometime between 18-22 weeks. How will I know everything is ok?? If only I could just relax and believe this will last.

And now, updated symptoms.

Current cravings: Apples and caramel sauce (but maybe just cause it's almost fall)

Current energy level: Fairly fatigued, but better than last week

Current appetite: Let's just say I'm eating a lot more than normal

Current mood: Cautiously optimistic, mixed with occasionally very teary

Current weight: 113 (this wasn't taken in the morning though, I don't think I gained 3 pounds in a week)

Nausea?: Nope

Other random observations: I sometimes get dizzy when standing after sitting for a while, my hair is getting all greasy despite daily shampooing (gross), I have frequent twinges and pulling sensations when moving (which I've read is normal so I'm trying to ignore them), and I still have not managed to sleep through the night without waking up to pee.

I'll post a belly photo soon (I need Brian's help and he's not home yet). Still not much to see, but I think it's gonna start soon so I may as well have a baseline.

8w2d U/S

(Little arms!! And I think that's the yolk sac above the head.)

Yesterday afternoon we had our second ultrasound. Everything looked perfect. It was pretty funny, the second our baby made it onto the screen, Brian shouted out, "Was that an arm??!!" And sure enough it was! I can't believe the difference from week 7 to week 8. Amazing. We heard the heartbeat again, which was nice and strong at 178 bpm. Baby measured 8w4d, so I was very reassured. And I made sure to ask this time if s/he is positioned safely in the uterus, which s/he is. Right as the u/s tech was about to pull out (for lack of a better phrase), she stopped and pointed out movement. Baby was moving his/her head side to side. So cute!! And it turns out Brian was right, the head is to the left for now. So maybe baby was cheering last week? I guess it doesn't look like Eve after all. I'll need a new nickname.

We met with Dr. Albrecht afterwards and the first thing he said as he walked in the room was, "Now aren't you glad I talked you into just one?!" I LOVE him! There wasn't much to talk about, so it was short and sweet. I've officially graduated to an OB. Of all the graduations I've been a part of, I think this is truly the most exciting (and I was freaking THRILLED to graduate from grad school)! I feel a little sad to be done with our fertility clinic, though. The care there has been excellent and super personal (so if you live around Denver, I highly recommend Conceptions Reproductive Associates). I've never been impressed with our HMO, but I guess I won't judge their OB practice until I experience it. 7 days!

8w0d

I'm in another countdown. U/s #2 is on Wednesday. I can't wait to meet with my doctor afterwards and thank him for everything (provided all is still well). I especially want to thank him for properly scaring me into transferring just one. Not that I'm anti multiples, but I was scared to death at the thought of more than one at a time. I am so, so thankful for how well this has gone so far. However, I'm still super cautious. I've been coveting people's baby tickers, but I'm too afraid to put one up on my blog yet. There are some close friends who are still out of the loop for fear that I'll have to take it all back. My friend's loss really has me freaked out. I did finally crack and buy a Be Band (okay 2, I suck at choices, so I bought both black and white). I am sick of holding jeans together with rubber bands!

I've decided to start something new on here. I think it would be fun to start documenting some info that I can reflect back on throughout my pregnancy. And soon, I think I will start the belly photos, even if I don't have one worth photographing just yet.

Current cravings: Spaghetti and meatballs, ice cream and chocolate sauce

Current energy level: Constantly exhausted/drop dead tired

Current appetite: Constantly hungry, and when I get hungry, I am HUNGRY!!!

Current mood: Moody

Current weight: 110

Nausea?: Off and on icky feeling, especially in the AM or when hungry (but all day yesterday). No vomit yet.