Guilty Conscience

Ever since the stimming process in July, I have put a lot of limits on the current "baby" of our household, the dog. Poor Gilbert hasn't been allowed to sit in my lap nearly as much as he used to. He tends to be a bit of a spazz, and whoever told us he would mellow with age was seriously mistaken. So it freaks me out to have him in my lap because he often jumps right on where I picture my uterus to be. Back when we were trying to conceive naturally, I often worried that maybe I had been pregnant, but one of the blows Gilbert gave me ended it before I ever knew. In hindsight, that probably never happened, but I think it's better to be safe than sorry. Lately, I've started to feel kind of guilty about it all. The poor guy so desperately wants my attention and affection, and I know it'll only get worse in 5 months. My dreams have started to reflect my guilt, too. I've started dreaming about giving him away, or losing him only to later find him injured. I wake up feeling relieved, but also sad for him. Poor doggie. (I'm sure part of my guilt also stems from how we've grossly neglected his grooming. He's not good with strangers and used to be sedated (for a hefty price) every time he got a haircut. We finally found a miracle worker that can groom him without sedation, but she's only available Tuesdays. Since we have to drop him off 20 miles to the north between 7:30-8:30am, it makes finding a good time difficult!)

In other news, baby is becoming a moving machine! I feel him/her constantly, which is so reassuring. We're still waiting for the results of the AFP3 testing. It's been 2 weeks... how long did other people have to wait??? Oh, and I've added a poll to see if people have any ideas on what might be in there. My guess is a boy. I don't know why, but I have a strong feeling.