Going Private

I have made the decision to privatize my blog after a concern for my family's safety. I'm not going into detail, and maybe I'm just being silly, but my son means more to me than life itself and I'm not going to risk his or my identity here anymore. If you would like to continue reading, please comment here by the end of the day tomorrow with your email address.

Thank you!

Oh, The Things You Do!

Noah, you are so silly these days. It's the little day-to-day things that don't get documented all that often. Sure we have little 20-30 second snippets of your goofy antics recorded on our iPhones. But most of them don't get written down here. Last night for instance you were walking around the kitchen, stomping just your right foot. You obviously thought it was very clever because it kept you entertained for at least five minutes. Then later as you drank your bedtime bottle*, you started poking your right arm out and repeating, "boop." Only you and God know why, but your Daddy and I were cracking up (and yes, we did get that one on video). It's just all those silly little things you do that make me love you more and more each day. I hope you will always embrace your inner goofball!

*And by bottle, I mean sippy. Today marks the second day in a row where you have not had a single bottle with a nipple. Woohoo!

Fool Me Twice, Shame On Me

Friday night I was sooo tired. I actually fell asleep on the couch, which is very unlike me. Then on Saturday, I was sleepy in the afternoon. I took a nap, which is extremely unlike me. When I woke up, I commented to Brian, "I haven't taken a nap like that since... I was pregnant with Noah." And then my mind started racing, and thinking stupid thoughts. I mean of course we got pregnant on accident, even though we couldn't get pregnant that entire year where we actually tried. We're totally one of those couples, right? I thought back through the month at every possible sign or symptom. And what's worse, I started to feel hopeful. I don't even understand why, because to be totally honest, I do not feel ready to have another baby. When I realized I wanted to get pregnant it was all I could think about, and I am definitely not there yet. So then why did I get my hopes up so much this weekend? I suppose it would be awesome to not have to spend all of our savings trying again, to not inject myself with needles, to not expose my lady bits to an entire room full of people, and not spend weeks shoving "fun dip" sized suppositories up my hoo-hah and stick weird patches to my ass cheeks hoping that all of this leads to a baby and not just a waste of time, money, and emotion. So I guess maybe that's why I got my hopes up, just a little. And maybe that's why tonight I'm really feeling sad that I am most definitely NOT pregnant with some miracle baby. I feel so silly to have had any hope at all.

16 Months

Work started again on August 10th, which sucks up all my spare time and turns me into a bad recorder of our life's events. Noah turned 16 months two weeks ago and I'm only just getting around to updating. If only financially things were different and I could work part-time, then life might feel closer to perfect, but alas. No dice. It is what it is. And here is where Noah is.

• I had to give up on documenting his receptive vocabulary. He understands more than I could possibly keep track of. Now, does he always listen? Well, that would be a real miracle!
• Expressively, he has added the following words to his vocabulary: mama, dada, bottle (sounds like ball or bowel), cheese (deeej), dog (da), boat (he left off the /t/ sound until just recently), no no (we hear this a lot), owl, ball, sky, bye bye, knee, yeah, and what
• He has shown that he can sign the word "more," but pointing to what he wants is more effective. I only ever tried to teach him "more" and "all done," but babies are smart enough on their own and find ways to tell you these things. I don't bother with it anymore.
• He has started to run, but it's more accurately described as out-of-control walking. It's usually accompanied by squeals or "owowow" sounds.
• He is climbing everything in sight. Chairs, sofas, tables, rocks, toilet paper packages, shelves, etc. If he can reach it, he will try to climb it.
• Noah loves to put things in other things, and then take them out again. For example, throwing stuff inside of the laundry basket (and often climbing in) and then digging it back out, dumping buckets of toys and then refilling them, and most fun of all, taking his animals out of his ark and throwing them between the table and the fireplace. (We have a ottoman style coffee table in front of the fireplace to keep him from crawling inside.)
• He moved up to size 4 diapers. They seem a little bit big, but size 3s were starting to feel a bit snug.
• Tooth number 8 popped through sometime mid-August.
• We could probably stop bottles altogether. He drinks from sippies all day at day care, but I just haven't been vigilant about them at home. I don't really have a reason for this. Part of it might be because I'm so used to giving him a certain amount in the morning and at night, but sippy cups don't have ounce marks on them. I should just let that go.
• We've seen our share of more stubborn behavior. If he doesn't get exactly what he wants exactly when he wants it, he will let us know. And don't even try to take something very cool but dangerous away from him. He's not afraid to bite! (Seriously, he's a total vampire. I have had bite marks on my neck, face, and arms.) I still struggle with the best way to discipline him at this age. If I say "no bite" or "no hit" and then set him down and move away, he often just laughs. He doesn't seem to be picking up on the fact that I'm mad or hurt. At this age, I think time-out is a bit too abstract, and is really more for the parent than the child, so I'm not using it.

So that's 16 months in a nutshell. It bums me out to be back at work, and missing so much of his learning. However, he loves going to daycare and his little friend Olivia absolutely adores him. When I pick him up each afternoon, he usually wants to stay and play. I think that's a really, really great thing, even if it sometimes hurts my feelings! :)