A Day at the Park

My spring break this year has been a bit gloomy. We had a snowstorm the first day, a negative beta result, and a whole week of cleaning the house to get it ready for the market. Not exactly the relaxing happy time I envisioned for myself. Today was beautiful so I decided to take Noah to the park. It was just what the doctor ordered!

After watching a little girl who just turned 2 do it, Noah finally mustered up the courage to try the "big red slide" all by himself. His review: "That slide's too bumpy, Mommy!"

Happy in the swing. Oh, those eyelashes are going to get him out of so much trouble!

"I'm swingin' high, Mommy!"

You shall not pass.

After a while I was getting warm and decided to cool off in the shade of the park shelter. I was still close enough to overhear Noah talking to a little boy under the playground equipment. Noah was happily dumping little pieces of mulch through a hole and the other boy kept asking how old he was. Noah finally responded that he was two (Much to my proud amazement. He usually doesn't get that right!). The other boy told him, "I'm six. That makes me... (counting on fingers) ...4 years older than you!" Noah looked up at him and said, "I'm Noah. I'm at the park with my mommy. My mommy is really nice!" And in that moment, my heart melted into a puddle and I fell even deeper in love with my son than I ever thought I could. Thank you Noah, Mommy needed that!

Miscellaneous Updates

Well, I TOTALLY sucked at ICLW. That is definitely the first and last time I will participate. I couldn't read 5 new blogs per day in addition to the ones I already follow, let alone comment on them. Although it was fun to get a few extra (ok, a lot extra) comments, the ones from you girls who actually follow me are more meaningful anyway. Lesson learned.

There are some big things happening on the homefront. In two short days, my house is hitting the market. Brian's dream is to move up into the small foothills community that he teaches and coaches in, and although it will mean a crazier commute for me, I'm going along with the plan. I really hate that Noah will have to switch daycare because I love the woman who watches him and despite how crazy expensive she is, I trust her completely with his well-being. I will also miss being able to walk to the neighborhood park and enjoy the four community pools we have access to. It's going to be quite an adjustment. So if you know of any infertile friends wanting to move to Colorado, let them know we live about 15 minutes from CCRM! (And about a mile away from another very reputable fertility clinic which happened to knock me up twice.) ;)

Moving on, Ed is doing amazing! It's been a crazy rollercoaster ride, but he is currently in a rehab facility trying to get his muscles, kidneys, and lungs healthy enough for his bypass. He has made progress by leaps and bounds and finally got to take the dialysis port out of his neck. No more dialysis! Just this week he did end up with a rather large blood clot in his right arm so he has to get a heparin drip which stinks. But overall he's doing so well and we all feel like we have definitely witnessed a miracle.

And on that note, I'm going to ask a favor of you all. A family friend of mine gave birth to her daughter last night. It happened rather quickly, with the delivery taking place in her mother-in-law's car on the way to the hospital. The birth was physically traumatic for her daughter, and she is in NICU with a collapsed left lung and left-side heart complications. If you could please send out some healing thoughts or prayers for baby Libby, I would appreciate it!

"Officially" Negative

When I went in for my second beta yesterday, it was without the previous nervous anxiety I've always had in the past. No wondering of what the second number would be and worrying if it doubled. The lab chick told me I would get a call between 3:00 and 3:30, so when 4:55 rolled around I was starting to get annoyed. Obviously I knew the results, but I wanted to make sure without any doubt that I could stop wasting meds by continuing to take them. I finally called them and got a message that the clinic was now closed. I was so pissed off. I decided to take one last test, just to make sure, and then made the executive decision to stop everything. Then, around 5:15, they finally called. I spared the nurse from actually having to give me the news and told her I already knew. She apologized and transferred me to the receptionist to make my consult appointment. I have to wait until April 11th which bums me out because I kind of hoped we could just roll right into another cycle. But, true to IF form, it's at least a three month wait between tries. Not fair. In the meantime, I will enjoy my sporadic alcoholic beverages, blue cheese, and decaf coffee. I know, dream big!

I'm making this my last post about this cycle, so stay tuned for happier topics ahead! I actually do have a life outside of IF, and it's way more fun.

The Things People Say

Before I get all bitter and ranty, I have to acknowledge that for the most part, people who know of our fertility struggles have been supportive and wonderful. But I know for some people, they simply don't get it. They really have no idea how it feels to be infertile. What it's like to lose a pregnancy. How terribly scary, frustrating, exhausting, and lonesome the whole process feels. So sometimes, well-meaning people say stupid things that are hard to look past. Hard to forget.

When I first learned of my blood test results and explained the concept of blood thinners to one of my coworkers, she looked at me, sighed, and asked, "Is it really worth it?" Aside from feeling dismissed, I also felt defensive. Seriously? I would walk through fire for the child I already have. I would have taken hundreds, thousands, MILLIONS more shots, medications, embarrassing medical procedures, etc. to have my son in my life. So is it really worth it? Of course it is.

Last week another teacher in my school kind of slipped the news to a teacher I'm not very close to. I acknowledged that yes, I'm currently waiting to find out if I'm pregnant, then quickly went through the events of the last 6 months. I lamented about how much it hurts to see my friends pregnant with their seconds, while here I sit wondering if I will ever get there. The teacher looked at me and said, "Oh honey, it's not a race!" A race? Are you fucking kidding me? No, it's not a god damned race. I lost my DAUGHTER and I'm infertile. It is grief. That's what it is. Grief and fear.

The worst offense came from somewhere it shouldn't have. A friend. One of the two who is pregnant and due within weeks of when I should have been. She's not someone I see all that often these days, but she's someone who knows the whole story of our attempts to conceive. I saw her at the beginning of February, and she asked me how things were going. I gave her the whole run down about my bloodwork (it was still new information to me at the time) and explained that we lost our baby girl because I have clotting issues. She didn't even flinch when I told her it was a girl. I always expect people to kind of get it, like, oh man, a girl? Of course losing a boy would be equally sad, but I have to admit that yes, ideally I would like one of each. And I expect people to kind of get that. It's a common desire. Anyway, that in itself didn't bother me. Most people don't say anything when I tell them it was a girl (except for one friend who totally got it, and she's not even interested in having kids yet) so I've gotten used to feeling like nobody cares. But then, two weeks later this friend had her anatomy ultrasound. It happened to be the same night Ed had his heart attack. I sat at a friend's kitchen table and my phone lit up. I read the following text message: "So I'm officially no longer outnumbered by men in my family. We are having a GIRL!!!!!!" Note the capital letters and the SIX exclamation points. It cut to the bone. I almost started crying. I'm pretty sure I cursed and tossed my phone away. My friend asked what was wrong and I showed her the message. "Oh," she said. She knew. How fucking hurtful and insensitive, right? At first I thought that maybe it was a group message and it didn't occur to her that maybe that's not how I would like to hear the news. But no, it was sent to me only. Later in the evening I sucked it up and decided to be the bigger person. I sent her a short message of congratulations. The next day she sent me a response and asked how everything was going and how could she follow my blog. Needless to say I did not respond. This is exactly why I did not share specific details of this cycle with any of my friends (except for the one whose kitchen I sat in that night and my dearest friend of all in WI). They just don't get it. And I'm through expecting them to.

I know some of my actual friends follow this blog, and if I have offended you, I'm sorry. I started this space as a place where I could document this journey, and I decided I'm not going to censor it anymore. If I can't let it out here, it's going to eat me alive. And like I said, most people have been pretty supportive, so thank you.

Anybody have any other gems to share? Anybody else feeling bitter and ranty today? :)

Results Are In

Brian and I enjoyed our night out yesterday, but I had to drive home in another snowstorm and it was quite the white-knuckle drive. I felt really anxious, my heart was pounding, and I thought my abdomen felt funny from it. I thought this was a good sign. When I got home and finally got Noah to bed I thought about taking a test. I was feeling like I would see a positive result. But I decided to stick to the plan and wait for the morning. Overnight I had two dreams. One was that I took a test and it was positive. The other was that I had a baby girl. I kept forgetting that she existed and kept panicking that we accidentally left her at home alone. My mom was there and kept reassuring me that she was with me, safely tucked in her car seat. I woke up hoping this was a good sign. When Brian asked me if I was ready, I said no, to which he replied, you have to find out eventually. I was so nervous when I entered the bathroom that I really thought I might puke. Again, I thought this was a good sign. I took the test, left it on the counter, and told Brian we had to wait a minute. And when the time came, what did we see? One lonely pink line. My first ever BFN following an IVF or FET cycle. Just as I expected. No 2013 baby for me. Damn it.

I didn't cry all that much. My mom made me tear up when she told me how sorry she was. I also let my dad and brother know. My brother was appropriately bummed for us, but my dad is apparently in denial. It kind of pisses me off. He asked if it was a blood test result or a home test, and when I told him it was from a home test he replied, "I don't trust those. Let me know when you have the 'official' results." I responded with, "It's pretty official, but you can pretend a little longer if you want to..." I know, I know. He's a man, and he's my dad. If anyone is supposed to carry on hope, it should be your dad. I'm his baby girl and he doesn't want to see me sad. But what he doesn't get is that what I really need is for him to say that this sucks and he's sorry. Not make me rehash the bad news in two days.

I am also annoyed that my clinic lives in denial. It seems silly and wasteful to continue taking expensive, uncomfortable medications for NO REASON. I just want to stop everything, let AF show her stupid face, and make a new plan. But I have to wait until Monday instead. Stupid.

This is not exactly how I hoped my spring break would start, but I'm glad I have the week to accept this reality and move forward again.

I'll end this on a happy note. Last night I was getting Noah ready for bed and he tackled me to the floor. We both were lying there giggling and he turned to me and said, "You're my best friend!" I smiled and told him he was my best friend, too. Then he said, "No, you're my best friend! You're my best girl!" I sure do love him, and know how lucky I am to have him!

I'm Not Ready

Today I went in for my first blood draw. I definitely felt more together this time; no hysterical crying in my car after it was over. I don’t know how to explain my calm demeanor this time around. I have no idea where it has come from because I’m pretty sure I want this even more than I did in the fall. I am so ready to be pregnant. I’m sick of trying to read into everything my body is and is not doing. It seems silly to even bother talking about my “symptoms” because I could just go pee on a stick and find out already. All I have noticed this week was some throbbing in my ovaries on Wednesday, maybe peeing a little more than normal (maybe), continued milk let-down tingles (I don’t know how else to describe the sensation), a few little sharp pains in the abdomen when I stand up (but way fewer than last time), maybe not as much hair coming out in my brush, and extremely occasional senses of nausea. I’m not even convinced that I have actually felt nauseous. It could be psychosomatic, or just a normal passing feeling that happens when I’m hungry but right now I’m just hypersensitive to.

The nurse told me that they would call me later with the result. I corrected her and said they weren’t going to call until the second test. She paused and acknowledged I was right, but then said they still might call me anyway. The weird thing is, I don’t want to know! I don’t want to get called today! I really feel like I’m not pregnant, and I just want to bask in the possibility one day longer. I am not doing a HPT tonight as planned. I’ve changed my mind to wait until tomorrow morning, also partly because my husband made plans for us to do some adult socializing tonight (a rarity for us!) and I don’t want to show up miserable. So one more day, internet friends! Sorry someday-soon! (How do I not know your real name??)

One last quick story and then I need to get to work. Last night we went out to eat. At the restaurant Noah ran off from the table. When I caught up to him he told me he was going to rescue the babies. Um, ok. We left the restaurant and on the way home I hear from the back seat, “Mommy? I want a baby sister. I want a baby.” He said it in the saddest, most pleading little voice. Cue instant tears. Oh my gosh Noah, you and I both! Brian is hoping that it’s some sort of premonition. We shall see. Sooner than I’m ready for.

ICLW - Welcome!

Welcome ICLW participants! I’ve seen ICLW around before, but I never really joined in because I didn’t totally understand it and was too lazy to bother to research it (you know, the whole 5 seconds that would take is too much). CycleSista was a site that had given me a ton of support when I first started my IVF journey, and for me it felt like enough. Recently I went to CycleSista and asked to be added back to their list for March and it seems as though whoever runs that site has abandoned it. Even though I have a wonderful group of ladies who have supported me throughout all my years of TTC and blogging, it’s always nice to find some people who are in the same place you are. Most of my blog friends have achieved their dream of a second baby, so there aren’t a lot of people at the same point in this journey. So in a nutshell, that’s why I thought I would give ICLW a shot. Don’t get me wrong though. I didn’t join solely to find cycle buddies or anything like that. I love reading all kinds of TTC, infertility, parenting, adoption, and loss blogs, so this seems like a good fit.

For anyone new to my blog, I’ll quickly catch you up to speed. My husband and I met in high school and married in 2004. We started TTC in July 2008, and quickly suspected something was wrong. By January 2009 we had a diagnosis of male factor infertility. We were told by our RE that IUI would be a long shot and his recommendation was to seek out a clinic to do IVF (because our HMO doesn’t do it or cover it). In July 2009 we did our first IVF cycle and in April 2010 my son Noah was born. We were lucky enough to freeze 10 blasts, so last summer we decided to try for baby number two. Our FET in July was canceled due to an abnormal ultrasound, but our FET in September did the trick and we thought we must be the luckiest infertile couple ever. Two single embryo transfers and two pregnancies? Unheard of, right?! Sadly we ended up finding out we lost our baby girl at my 9-week graduation ultrasound. Because the baby tested normal chromosomally, I was given a major blood work up where I was diagnosed with two heterozygous MTHFR mutations and a clotting disorder known as AT3. I was told that I would need to be on blood thinners for any future pregnancies. On March 12, we did our most recent FET. I am currently in the dreaded 2ww with my first beta scheduled for tomorrow. Our clinic makes you wait until the second beta to get a result, so I am planning to take a HPT tomorrow night. Although I feel way saner in this 2ww than I ever have before, I don’t want to wait until Monday to find out.

I also write a lot about my son here, although he’s kind of taken a backseat around here lately due to my current cycle. He’s a pretty great little guy. I can’t believe he’s going to be three years old just one month from today! Where did my little baby go?!

6dp5dt

As far as two week waits go, this one doesn't seem to be torturing me as much as I originally expected it to. I only really felt crazy the first two days post transfer because I was convinced I should be feeling something already. Yes, I know. Crazy. But now I'm 6 days in and I still don't really have many symptoms to be honest. Saturday night, at 4dpt, I had some fairly strong cramps that lasted all night. If I had been at the end of the 2ww I would have been convinced my period was going to start imminently. My chest really started to feel uncomfortable yesterday at 5dpt, and I started to experience small tingles like the last time where it almost feels like milk letdown. Then again, maybe that's all in my head. The chest discomfort doesn't mean much to me because it's been pretty tender ever since I started the estrogen patches. Yesterday it just felt like it increased a notch. I don't feel any hungrier, sleepier, or moodier than normal. I don't think I'm having as many little cramps and uterine twinges as I did with my last two successful transfers. I do have a dull headache today, but it's probably from fighting off a stupid cold. So, who knows? I've now entered the hardest part of the 2ww. I could probably take a test tomorrow and get a definitive result. Most likely my last trigger shot will be out of my system, especially since for some reason only .25ml was left rather than .5ml so I only got half the dose I should have. However, I am holding strong to my plan to test Friday night. I do NOT want to go through this whole week feeling let down by a BFN. I have too much going on at work to be in that headspace!

Once again, I'm feeling like I'll probably see a negative result. Here are my top three reasons why.

1. Seriously. Who in their right mind actually expects to see a BFP?!

2. I'm pretty sure only fertile whores can do three separate elective single embryo transfers and get knocked up every time. Right?

3. I have felt like the universe has conspired against this cycle from the start. I don't know why exactly, but it just seems like things haven't been as smooth as in the past. Switching clinics stressed me out and I feel like there's some sort of bad karma lingering out there from Dr. Bush. Then my lining didn't look as good as in the past. The first transfer didn't take. Noah got sick the day of the transfer and I've been desperately trying to fight off his germs with limited success. Sleep has been hard to come by as a result. It's probably all a little silly, but I really do feel this way.

The only thing that makes me feel a little hopeful is to look at the picture of the embryo and smile. It really is a nice looking embryo. I hope it looks even better in about 37 weeks!

So, until Friday!

I Hate The Wait!

Here I sit, just 2 days in, and I already feel like a crazy person. The night of the transfer I felt some dull cramps and was happy for that, but then all day yesterday there wasn't a hint of anything. I was feeling discouraged and already convinced that this cycle was a bust. I know, 1dp5dt is a little early to lose all hope. I went to bed last night chanting Dr. A's mantra in my head, along with a second mantra that I came up with, "I intend to make Noah a brother." Then my mind started wandering to all the dark places. What if this cycle doesn't work? What if the next cycle doesn't work? What if we get to a point where we're back to another IVF cycle? Could I keep going that long? What if Noah is the only child I'll ever call mine? Yikes.

Today I woke up with a dull headache. I had the warm, sweaty feeling I get just before I get my period. I've had some cramps here and there. I am gassy and bloated. Sometimes when I stand up quickly I have sharp pulling sensations in my abdomen. Do these things mean anything? Probably not. But I'm glad to feel something so I can try to quiet my uneasy mind.

Brian's mom Wendy left about 30 minutes ago. It makes me sad when family visits end. I always look forward to them so much and then they're over in the blink of an eye. I was especially grateful for her help this time because poor Noah came down with a really yucky cold the day of our transfer. She woke up with him in the middle of the night to hold him when he was coughing so that I wouldn't have to. She did all of the cooking and cleaning, diaper changes, laundry, etc. over the last 4 days and truly let me just relax. It's too bad that all she got in return was a sick grandson who was clingy to his mommy.

Tomorrow I go back to work, and I think that's a good thing. I just need to stay distracted and remind myself that no matter what, I still have Noah. And for that I'll always be grateful.

Transfer Day

Does anyone else get a little crazy looking for signs before an embryo transfer? Last night I was fairly certain that we totally messed up our karma by killing our betta fish. I thought I was doing good by changing their water, but I think the water we replenished them with was too warm. One of the two survived, but it still seemed ominous for the night before a transfer. Then before bed I checked my email and found a nice note from my mom and a really sweet post from my sister. It made me feel better. This morning the signs seemed more positive. When I looked at my email, the first thing that popped up was a book recommendation from Amazon. The title of the book? "I Loved You Before You Were Born." On our way to the clinic (during an unexpected snowfall, wtf?!) the first song on the radio was "I Will Wait," which for anyone going through infertility may have also rung a bell with you at some point.

The transfer itself was fine. My bladder was seriously uncomfortable so I definitely was full enough this time around. The first attempt at the transfer didn't succeed and the embryo stayed put in the catheter, but the second attempt did the trick. I hope it's a sign that this baby likes to stick to things, especially my uterus! Dr. Albrecht explained that two embryos were thawed because the first one didn't survive, but the one we transferred looked perfect, as if it had never been frozen. After the transfer was complete, Dr. A held my hand and told me the mantra I must repeat until the result. "I intend to become a new parent." It made me cry, and then he told us he would be thinking good thoughts for us. Here's to hoping for a great outcome in two weeks!

I have a feeling this will be my hardest two week wait yet. Dr. A doesn't give results until the second beta draw, which won't take place until March 25! With our last transfer I really only had a 9 day wait. Thirteen days might be more than I can handle. I already have a box of HPTs ready to go, but I plan to wait until 10dp5dt which will be next Friday, the day of my first beta.

And now, here's our little cub (March has seriously come in like a lion this year)! What do you think, boy or girl? ;-)

Holy Hormones

Today is my most medication-heavy day of them all. In the morning I had heparin, endometrin, and doxycycline. At lunch I had another dose of endometrin and medrol, plus two new estrogen patches. Tonight I have more endometrin, heparin, and doxycycline, plus an HCG booster shot. Then I have my prenatal, vitamin D3 and vitamin E supplements to take as well. My stomach feels like a pin cushion, but luckily it hasn't bruised too badly. The heparin injections are really easy, but they do leave small purple dots all over my stomach. It's quite attractive! I forgot just how nasty the endometrin suppositories are, but I still prefer them to the PIO shots. Unfortunately due to my thrombophilia issues, when I do eventually get pregnant I'll have to switch over to a progesterone injection, but it's only twice a week versus daily. For now I'll enjoy the painlessness of this all.

Our embryo will be thawed starting tomorrow afternoon. Since our snowbabies were slow frozen, they are also slow thawed. The nurse warned that God forbid things go horribly wrong, we'll get a phone call tomorrow evening or Tuesday morning. I really hope we don't get that phone call! Brian's mom got into town today to help out while I take it easy this week. I have mentioned how much I love my in-laws, right?

Wish us luck for a great transfer on Tuesday!

The Transfer That Almost Wasn't

Today was a rollercoaster. I went in for my final ultrasound and bloodwork this morning to get the green light for transfer on Tuesday. The nurse commented that this was the last step before the big day and I replied with, "I hope so." I then explained that I had been canceled before at the same appointment, so I was a little nervous. It took the nurse forever to get a clear image on the screen (thank you tilted uterus), and once she did she immediately remarked how thick the lining was. But she didn't seem happy. Then she finally said, "Well, you're plenty thick, but I'm not seeing the multi-layer." She left me to ponder that as I dressed myself and moved on to bloodwork. As I waited for the phlebotomist, I heard the nurse consulting with someone and the dreaded C-word slipped out of her mouth. She came back while I waited and explained that they weren't entirely certain I would be moving forward. After the blood was taken, she pulled me into a room and answered some questions I had. She then gave me my protocol and said she would call later after consulting Dr. A. I left fully convinced that this cycle was done. I have been to that rodeo before. I even wrote a draft post about how bummed I was. I sent texts to Brian, my mom, and brother lamenting another canceled cycle. I reassured coworkers that I actually would be in the office next Thursday. I let my cousin know that I too had bad luck this cycle. I couldn't concentrate at work and just wanted to go home so I could cry in privacy.

Then my phone rang around 2:30. My heart sank, fearing the official cancellation. The nurse started off by telling me my E2 and P4 levels. E2 was 866 which is good. Then she said that they looked very closely at my progesterone level. If it's above 1.0 it's a definite cancel. I was at 0.2. Dr. A had reviewed the ultrasound images and concluded that it was no reason to cancel my cycle. He still felt confident about the quality of my lining. Say what?! I'm not canceled?! The nurse continued to explain that if this was our last chance/last embryo kind of situation, we would probably hold off. However, they see successful outcomes with this kind of lining and since we are lucky enough to have 9 snowbabies, we're not taking a big risk by moving forward.

In a perfect world, I would've had a flawless lining this morning. Do I feel a little less confident about this cycle? Of course. But I truly appreciate Dr. A's willingness to give it a shot and not waste everything we've done to get here. This reaffirms for me why I switched doctors.

FIVE DAYS TIL TRANSFER!!!!!

Success!

Well friends, it has finally happened. Noah had his first successful experience on the potty chair! We celebrated with high fives and gummy bears. I don't see this taking off just yet, but it's still a big step forward. Who knew I could be so proud of some poop?

My estrogen level was checked this morning. When I did my FETs in June and September, my E2 level was usually between 500-800. Today? 1,500 something. I'm thinking the FOUR patches I slap on my back every other day are working their magic. Keep fingers crossed for a nice, plush, but not too plush, lining Thursday. Oh, and think happy thoughts for our frosties tomorrow as they make their way from our old lab to their new home. I'll be so relieved when that's over!!

What Makes Noah

This is the post I've been wanting to write for several months. So many things have been going on (good riddance February!!!) that it's been hard to find the time. Ever since Noah hit the age of 2, I've been a lot worse at keeping track of his development. There's so much to say, even if things don't change as much and as fast as they did when he was a baby. So here goes.

We'll start with the physical information.

• Noah is a skinny minny. People always tell us he looks tall, but I think it's only because he's so slim. I don't think he's any taller than other boys his age. He wears size 5 diapers, and 2/3T shirts. As far as pants go, 2T fit ok, but if they have tabs we shrink them down as far as possible.
• He seems to have some clear gross motor delays. Noah still hasn't mastered jumping with both feet off the ground. He has done it in the past, but I haven't seen him do it recently. He also looks very uncoordinated when he runs, especially compared to other two year olds. I'm not overly concerned, and I'm fairly certain he wouldn't qualify for services through an IFSP or IEP because they rarely service motor delays on their own. The OT/PT at my school is giving me lots of great advice, too.
• His speech/language skills seem pretty great. Noah has an awesome vocabulary and speaks in complete sentences. Sometimes I think his speech is a little difficult to understand (probably because he loves his paci a little too much), but overall I think he's a-ok in this department. He still has a few words that he pronounces funny, but I think they're so stinkin' cute that I don't even try to fix them. Some of my favorites are "root be deer" for root beer, "poodle" for pool, and "truck n' towed" for tow truck. Too adorable to correct, right?
• As a school psychologist, I can't help but pay attention to cognitive development. Occasionally we use play-based assessment to evaluate kids under age 5, so I have access to the age tables for all areas of development. I know as a parent I might show some bias, but I am confident that he's nearly mastering all cognitive skills expected at 36 months, which he will be in 2 short months. Eek! He can without a doubt perform all skills expected at 30 months. So no concerns here, either.
• Noah has been having some sleep difficulties. I started recording the information on my phone so I can eventually share it with the pediatrician. Basically, Noah wakes up crying and upset several times per week. I recorded 9 incidents in January and 7 in February. It usually happens within a few hours of going to bed, between the hours of 10pm-1am. Sometimes he is inconsolable and won't let me touch or talk to him. Other nights he just needs a song and drifts back to sleep. Sometimes he is able to tell us why he is upset (often sounds like a scary dream), but sometimes there is no explanation. Anybody else experience this with their toddler? Despite this weird phenomenon, he is still an amazing sleeper overall. He might not always want to go to bed, but he rarely puts up a real fight and almost always settles down immediately. On weekends he sleeps from 8:30pm-8:00am reliably, and he still naps for 2-3 hours in the afternoon. At daycare naps are shorter though.
• He's still a pretty picky eater, but I think this goes in phases. Lately it's seemed a little better, but sometimes he will look at something and make up his mind that no way in hell is he eating that. Again, daycare reports he will eat anything, but I think she's full of shit. :) She does tell me he's the slowest eater ever, though. Yes, that's true!

Then there's all the little personality quirks that make me love him so darn much!

• Noah has discovered how to pout. When he gets scolded for something, he buries his face or runs away to hide from us. He lowers his eyebrows and sticks out his lower lip, then glares at us. When we make eye contact, he hides his face or grunts. Unfortunately for him, both Brian and I find it adorable and not the least bit offensive, as I'm sure he's intending.
• If we have to redirect Noah away from something he wants, he tells us things such as "Don't say that mean word!" or "You don't say that at me, Mommy!" Again, it just makes us laugh. Who's the parent here, kid?!
• In true toddler form, he's sassy, opinionated, and extremely contrary. These days when he actually needs a timeout, he treats it as a time to be even naughtier. He'll stand up in the timeout chair and yell, "You have to take a timeout, Mommy!" Sometimes he also says things like, "I kill you, Mommy! I kill you!" Um, should I be concerned?
• So yeah, sometimes he threatens my life. But he also tells me that he loves me. I love when it comes out of nowhere, without me telling him first. He's still a mama's boy through and through. He has just started telling Daddy that he loves him too, which Brian appreciates. In addition to loving his parents, Noah loves everything. It's so funny how often we hear him declare his love for the most random stuff. And it's always said with so much sincerity.
• Noah is a social butterfly. Everywhere we go he makes new friends, young or old. If little kids are around he always wants to get right in the mix. If adults are around, he wants their attention. He gets lots of smiles and we get lots of comments about him as a result. It makes me beam. It also makes me wonder where he got all this extroversion. It certainly didn't come from his parents! Maybe it's the universe's way of making Brian and I interact with people more! 
• On a related note, Noah says really cute things about his friends and other kids. One day I asked him something about Wilson. He replied with, "Wilson is my friend. That's my boy!" I also recently showed him pictures of my friend Danna's new baby and he replied, "I love that baby! He's my baby!"
• Noah is BIG into pretend play. Recently some of his favorite themes are witches and pirates. He likes to use objects to cast spells on us, then tilts his head back and breaks out this crazy witch laugh. I need to get this on video before he stops doing it! He's also way into Jake and the Neverland Pirates. He has a toy pirate ship and the pirates that go along with it have been named Jake and Cubby. He often pretends to be Jake, I am assigned Cubby, and Brian gets Captain Hook. Everything that comes out of his mouth is followed with an "Arrgh!" What book should we read Noah? "The Lion King. Arrgh!" Oh, he makes me laugh!
• Speaking of book and bedtime, he is learning sneakier ways to stall the routine. Now, usually while we're somewhere into the 3rd book (we read four most nights), he'll hop off the chair and walk to the stop of the stairs. Then he yells down at Brian, "Daddy! I need a drink!" Brian then gets him some water and we get back to reading. I'm pretty sure Brian enjoys the extra attention each night, even if he is being manipulated!
• There are so many other things that I forget to write down. For example, even just seeing him run past me in the morning as I dry my hair, then double back to show me his toy fire truck as he shouts out, "Hi! Fire truck!!" can make my whole day brighter. Seriously, toddlers are the best!

So that is Noah in a nutshell, just over the age of 34 months. I can't wait to watch him continue to grow and develop. I just know that someday he's going to be the best big brother ever!