Today I went in for my first blood draw. I definitely felt more together this time; no hysterical crying in my car after it was over. I don’t know how to explain my calm demeanor this time around. I have no idea where it has come from because I’m pretty sure I want this even more than I did in the fall. I am so ready to be pregnant. I’m sick of trying to read into everything my body is and is not doing. It seems silly to even bother talking about my “symptoms” because I could just go pee on a stick and find out already. All I have noticed this week was some throbbing in my ovaries on Wednesday, maybe peeing a little more than normal (maybe), continued milk let-down tingles (I don’t know how else to describe the sensation), a few little sharp pains in the abdomen when I stand up (but way fewer than last time), maybe not as much hair coming out in my brush, and extremely occasional senses of nausea. I’m not even convinced that I have actually felt nauseous. It could be psychosomatic, or just a normal passing feeling that happens when I’m hungry but right now I’m just hypersensitive to.
The nurse told me that they would call me later with the result. I corrected her and said they weren’t going to call until the second test. She paused and acknowledged I was right, but then said they still might call me anyway. The weird thing is, I don’t want to know! I don’t want to get called today! I really feel like I’m not pregnant, and I just want to bask in the possibility one day longer. I am not doing a HPT tonight as planned. I’ve changed my mind to wait until tomorrow morning, also partly because my husband made plans for us to do some adult socializing tonight (a rarity for us!) and I don’t want to show up miserable. So one more day, internet friends! Sorry someday-soon! (How do I not know your real name??)
One last quick story and then I need to get to work. Last night we went out to eat. At the restaurant Noah ran off from the table. When I caught up to him he told me he was going to rescue the babies. Um, ok. We left the restaurant and on the way home I hear from the back seat, “Mommy? I want a baby sister. I want a baby.” He said it in the saddest, most pleading little voice. Cue instant tears. Oh my gosh Noah, you and I both! Brian is hoping that it’s some sort of premonition. We shall see. Sooner than I’m ready for.
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How you torture us! But I totally get it, I've had cycles where I just needed to know already and some where I didn't want to know at all.
ReplyDeleteAnd also, a little WTF to your clinic. What's this, yeah but, we MIGHT call anyway. I would have flipped over that. Okay, so you may or may not let me in on whether or not there's a baby growing in my uterus! Cool, whatevs, either way.
This makes me laugh!
DeleteOh man!!! I was checking in to see if you POAS early ;-) Such a cute but tear jerking story about Noah...my DD did this too for about 6 months and it was so hard {{{HUGS}}} And my name is Caryn BTW =)
ReplyDeleteThat's what I thought. I think I've seen it on your blog comments, but I wasn't 100%!
DeleteI too was checking on your beta & hpt results. I think your body knows it is pregnant & is allowing you to be calm!!! At least that is what I am hoping is the case!!! Thinking +++ thoughts. I will be checking in tomorrow to see if you poas!!!
ReplyDeletexoxo
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