9dp5dt - Beta #1

This morning I woke up about 20 minutes before my alarm. I had just had a dream that I tested positive. I was in my kitchen and somehow peed on something that looked like a Noxzema pad. Two pink lines appeared in the middle of it. My mom was there and she gave me a big hug. Brian told me, "I knew it!" When I woke up and realized it was a dream I felt pretty crushed. Brian woke up shortly after to give me what I fully expected to be my last PIO shot. I laid on the heating pad for a little bit then got up and got ready for the day. On the way to daycare, I turned on my Sirius/XM playlist and told myself that the first song to pop up would give me a sign of whether or not I was pregnant (I'm a weirdo, I know.) The first song was "Nothingman." I switched it. "Sorry." I switched it again. "Missing." I just laughed and said aloud to Noah, "Well, if that isn't a sign, I don't know what is." After I dropped him off, I started to feel very anxious on my way to the clinic. It triggered a little crying spell, but I got myself back together. Once I got to the clinic, I just felt dread. I was the first lucky lady to get on the draw list, so I was called back right away. The phlebotomist announced, "It's the big day! Are you ready?" I replied back with a completely non-enthusiastic "sure." I told her I was not holding my breath, and she said that was probably the best attitude to have. "Surprise me, right?" Sure, whatever. I barely made it back to my car before I totally lost it and started crying uncontrollably. After a couple of minutes I wiped my eyes and headed to work.

The work day crawled. I had four students to meet with, but otherwise nothing else on my schedule. The phone call came in around 11:20, but I was with a student which guaranteed that I was letting it go to voicemail. I was feeling fairly calm and thought about listening to it and just getting everything over with. I decided not to on the chance that I lost it again like I did in my car. At some point I looked up the number for my previous RE's new practice so that I could call on my way home to set up a consultation. Finally, the end of the day got here. I listened to the voicemail as soon as I got into the car. The nurse asked me to give her a call with a good time to reach me. She said she had good news for me(!). I almost crapped my pants. I called back and told her any time was ok.

I called Brian and my mom on the way home and told them that I was expecting good news. I picked up Noah and we headed home. Around 4:20 the nurse finally called back. She congratulated me and told me it was positive! Beta=66. (Six is my lucky number, btw.) I told her it was much lower than Noah's beta of 141 and asked her what she thought about FETs producing lower betas. She said that does tend to be true and anything above 50 is really good at this point, and finished with "you're definitely pregnant." So holy fucking shit. I can't even begin to explain the level of disbelief I feel. Sunday is my next beta, so think "doubling" thoughts for us!

I only took this after I heard back from the nurse. My restraint amazes even me.