Monday, September 6, 2010
Broken Record
I feel like one. It seems like the biggest issue I have as a mom is with breastfeeding. It makes me so frustrated and stressed out when Noah stops nursing well. I was all excited for a three-day weekend with the little guy, but I've mostly just been miserable. He has been nursing terribly, except overnight. Yesterday he nursed for a total of 46 minutes overnight, then only 20 more minutes the rest of the day. Every time I fed him, he would pull away repeatedly, grunt, and tense up his body. The only time he ate well was when he took a bottle while we were at a friend's house. This morning has been more of the same. After he ate, I brought him downstairs where he proceeded to spit up all over himself and me. He also kept screaming and tensing up. I just don't know what to think or do anymore. I've tried other nursing positions (which I absolutely suck at), feeding more frequently, feeding less frequently, but in the end he seems happiest with a bottle. And pumping at work is so hard because I have kind of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants job. I'm often reacting to kids melting down or surprise meetings with teachers or parents, so it's often hard to pump when I need to. It feels pretty awkward (and sometimes rude) to have to tell people that I need to go pump. I really want to stick with breastfeeding, but sometimes I wonder if it's worth the stress it puts on me. Shouldn't I just enjoy my time with Noah, rather than cry in frustration?
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There's no wrong way to feed your baby. Maybe try supplementing with formula and whatever pumped milk you can manage, and see what works best? I personally think the frustration outweighs the effort, and you've been working at it for a long time. Forgive yourself and move on, I say! Better to be a happy mama than a struggling one.
ReplyDeleteMy babes had issues with bf'ing when I started letting down to heavily. I guess excesive pumping can do that. Heavy let down can cause them to refuse a boob, cause excessive burps and spit ups too! Do you pump at a high speed/rate?
ReplyDeleteI have gone through this refusal phase! But, I am happy I am still pumping and the babies are getting breastmilk through bottle even if they don't latch on at all any more. The logistics behind pumping/storing/feeding are very taxing, but I guess it is worth it. Finally it is a personal choice and what keeps you all happy is what matters.
I've been exclusively pumping for quite a while now and it's getting exhausting. Once I hit 6 months in 9 days, I'm planning to cut back to get a semblance of a life back. You've done great to get as far as you have - I think enjoying your time with N is the most important thing.
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