I have to be honest. I keep forgetting what this FET means. In a lot of ways, each cycle has started to feel like just another thing I'm doing. I've already told the doctor that I want to be able to go straight into another cycle after this one, so that when I get my period I can go right back on birth control. I guess you could say that I've lost a lot of the confidence I once had. Then the other day it occurred to me. Whoa. I could be pregnant by the end of this month. This is not just another thing I'm doing. I could be making a baby. And then I started to get excited again.
This time around I am definitely doing some things differently. I am taking the pentoxifylline to try to help my lining create the ever elusive triple stripe. I will also be undergoing my first ever acupuncture appointment this Friday. I procrastinated long enough and now it's time to bite the bullet, pay the money, and trust that Dr. Albrecht recommended this for a reason. On the day of transfer I will also do a pre and post session of acupuncture. The acupuncturist I will be seeing recommends continued treatments through the first trimester, so depending on cost and success, it's something I'll consider.
Sometimes I think my miscarriage happened to get my head on straight. Getting pregnant again seemed so easy (relatively), and although I was cautiously optimistic, I also feel like part of me just wasn't embracing what was happening. I don't know if I was just afraid. There was a lot of doubt from the day of transfer, and by 9 weeks I just had a bad feeling. So maybe it was a coping mechanism or just mother's intuition. But now I know that if I ever see that second line on a pregnancy test again, I will dance on the ceiling, embrace that little soul with all my heart, and trust that things will all work out. Not a moment will be taken for granted. Please let it happen this month!!!
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Best of luck to you with the FET! I think you will love acupuncture too. It's a real treat for yourself just for the relaxing aspects, so enjoy yourself!
ReplyDeleteSending all the PTs I can muster!!! I did acupuncture for a few cycles (my successful fresh cycle, my cancelled FET and my failed FET) and found it to be SUPER relaxing, although very expensive. Hope it, combined with the pentoxifylline is your magic combo. I really hope that you're preggo by the end of this month =)
ReplyDeleteGood luck on your FET!!! I am on FET #2
ReplyDeleteMy darling daughter. Nothing you did or didn’t do resulted in your unfortunate miscarriage. It isn’t that you didn’t want it enough or that you were being punished for not “having your head on straight.” Your mother’s intuition is generally right on the money. In this case? Damn it—the grandmothers wish it had been wrong. You were concerned from the start, and apparently and unfortunately, rightly so. No one could possibly do more to try to have a successful pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteWe can only hope and pray that this will be the one. I always trust that you’ll do whatever you can for your part in making it happen. So – everything crossed. Prayers said. On pins and needles.
I've never heard of pentoxifylline or the "triple stripe." Fill me in, if you wouldn't mind.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I totally get what you mean about just sort of going through the motions. I do the same thing with my cycles sometimes. I get ultrasounds in the same way that I'd drop off drycleaning. I take my meds in the same way that I'd pop a stick of gum into my mouth. I sort of dissociate from the reason for what I'm doing. Not sure why we do that though...maybe to avoid getting our hopes up too high?
The triple stripe is the ideal multilayered uterine lining that REs want to see for an embryo transfer. Apparently I'm not good at making them, and tend to create one homogenous lining. Part of me isn't convinced this is a real big issue because I have been pregnant three times in my life. My crummy lining seems to allow things to implant fairly well. The pentoxifylline is a medication that is similar in action to Viagra. It dilates blood vessels and some research says it allows more blood to flow to the uterus to help create a better lining. We'll see if it's doing anything at my lining check Thursday. I tend to make thick linings and a sonographer once told me I had excellent blood flow to my uterus, so I feel a bit skeptical.
DeleteWow. Fascinating and good to know. Thanks for the info!
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