But, regardless of everything I've lost, I have so much already. If Noah really does end up being our one and only, at least we knocked it out of the park with him.
He's already more than I could have ever hoped for.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Reframing
It feels like I've lost a lot with this miscarriage. I've lost my baby. I've lost any chance of feeling safe in any future pregnancies. I've lost all hope of having kids not much more than three years apart. I've lost the chance to be pregnant and due around the same time as many of my friends. I've lost confidence in the fact that we will have more kids. I've lost any desire to have more than two children because this process is too difficult to go through over and over. (And just when Brian was starting to talk about three...)
But, regardless of everything I've lost, I have so much already. If Noah really does end up being our one and only, at least we knocked it out of the park with him.
But, regardless of everything I've lost, I have so much already. If Noah really does end up being our one and only, at least we knocked it out of the park with him.
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Your joy in this little guy shines through even as you cope with your loss. You are always in my thoughts. I wrote this last night after reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteEvery Mother’s Wish
I used to hold you while you cried.
And promise all would be okay
And stroke your hair and dry your eyes
But you’re a thousand miles away
And now I cannot even try
To heal your broken hearted soul.
So I can only wish and hope
That throughout this and all to come
You will be strong enough to cope
And strong enough to carry on
For you’ve a little lad whose joy
In each and every single day
Looks up to you with big dark eyes
And needs his mom to be okay
I know we all go through hard times
But it is every mother’s wish
That if her own child could be spared
She’d take their place and gladly switch.
- 11/25/2012
I wish there were a magic wand. Life is hard. Love you, Hon.
P.S. Yes, thank God for this adorable little guy. He is my Sunshine, too.
I'm so happy you have your little man to hold on to while you grieve for all that you lost. Big {{{HUGS}}}
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