Consult and Lawsuit

I went in for my consult on Thursday. I brought Noah along, and it was fun to introduce him to the doctor who helped bring him to life. Dr. A gave me a hug and apologized for the failed cycle, then sincerely asked me how I have been feeling since I found out it was negative. I told him that I figured only the luckiest person alive could succeed with a single embryo transfer three times in a row, so I wasn't overly upset. He smiled and we moved on. Dr. A explained that the lining of my uterus has never looked just the way it should. That surprised me because when I did my FET in September the sonographer told me that everything looked "beautiful" and no one ever said anything to the contrary. But I guess in reality I make nice, thick linings, but they have always lacked a perfect triple stripe. Dr. A said that while I do show multiple layers, they don't look as defined as they should, or something along those lines. We both agreed that since I have been pregnant three times in my life, it's probably not much of an issue. So the bottom line is we'll do the same thing we did last time, but this time he really wants me to try acupuncture. I'm not overly thrilled and it sounds expensive, but if that's what he thinks is best, I will trust him. I was given the option to schedule a transfer in May, but I elected to wait until June. I've missed enough work already, and with the impending move I think I'll tackle just one stressful life event at a time.

Once all of that was out of the way, Dr. A told me he had another issue to discuss with me. (I can already feel my blood pressure rising as I type this.) Apparently, Dr. B has filed a lawsuit againt Dr. A for "defamation of character." Allow me to explain.

Dr. A is the first RE I ever saw. He worked at a clinic near my home. We loved everything about him and got pregnant on our first IVF cycle with him. A month before Noah was born, I received a letter in the mail from the clinic explaining that Dr. A was no longer employed with them, just as an FYI I guess. I was sad because I hoped we would work with him again in the future. When it came time for baby #2, we went to the same clinic and picked a new doctor, Dr. B, to work with. Our first consult with him left me completely unimpressed, but it seemed easier to just stick with the clinic rather than transition over to Dr. A's new clinic. Long story short, I hated Dr. B the entire time I worked with him. As soon as I miscarried I knew I was going to transfer back to Dr. A and his new clinic. When I had my regroup with Dr. B in January following my miscarriage, I found out just how big of an asshole he is. I never blogged about the regroup because it upset me too much and I thought if I badmouthed him it would create negative karma that could mess up my FET with Dr. A. Well, at this point I'm over that fear and I'm ready to let it out. My regroup meeting with Dr. B began with a comment of, "I was so sure we were going to get you pregnant." That rubbed me the wrong way, because I did get pregnant. That baby existed and mattered to me. When I explained that, he got all irritated and mumbled that yes, he knows I was pregnant and that he meant he was so sure I would stay pregnant. Whatever. When I had this regroup I had already been to see Dr. A and had a sonohysterogram with him days earlier to check out the state of my uterus post-miscarriage. When Dr. B realized that my visit to Dr. A was more than just a second opinion, I could tell he was losing his cool. He went off about how nobody in their right mind does an SHG anymore to evaluate a woman's uterus and insisted that I needed a hysteroscopy. To emphasize his point (or in my opinion to scare me into believing him), he pulled up two other women's medical files to show me recent hysteroscopies he performed on women who miscarried. He pointed out how messed up their uteruses were, then explained how with some sort of surgical procedure he is skilled in, he was able to recycle their linings and restore them to suitable wombs. He showed me the after images as well to wow me with his prowess. Aside from feeling bullied, I was also appalled that he was showing me other women's medical records with their names in plain view. A clear HIPAA violation. He offered to do the hysteroscopy for free, and also said he would knock $1000 off the cost of another FET (which price-matches Dr. A). I told him I was already planning another transfer with Dr. A and that's when he really came unglued. He asked me if I had moved my embryos yet and I replied that I hadn't. He leaned forward across his desk, glared at me, and asked in a very hostile tone, "Well how do you expect to do a transfer with Dr. A if you haven't moved your embryos?" I told him the transfer wasn't until March and I had plenty of time. I'm not a fucking idiot. (I didn't say that part.) He then stated in a very sarcastic, angry tone of voice, "Well, good luck then. Good luck." By this point it was all I could do to keep it together and not cry out of anger. After a few more hostile exchanges, I left his office and cried in my car. After leaving this appointment, for days I felt a paranoid worry that he would do something to my embryos and wanted to get them out of there ASAP. Brian called the clinic the next week to make a complaint against Dr. B for the way he behaved towards me and also mentioned that I was left feeling so uncomfortable by the visit that I actually had fears that the safety of our embryos was at risk. The woman he talked to took the information and reassured Brian that nothing could happen to our embryos.

So, back to my consult with Dr. A. Apparently, Dr. B is alleging that someone at Dr. A's office told me that the safety of my embryos was at risk if left at Dr. B's clinic and that I needed to leave there and move my embryos immediately. This is a total bald-faced lie. And I know Dr. B knows it. He is just trying to continue to bully, intimidate, and retaliate against both me and Dr. A because he's pissed that we left his practice. Additionally, I believe Dr. A left under not-so-good terms with Dr. B and there is likely some animosity there, especially now that Dr. A has a practice directly competing with Dr. B. The whole situation makes me absolutely furious. Dr. A reassured me that he doesn't see this lawsuit actually seeing the light of day, but I obviously agreed to come to his defense if need be. I was crying pretty hard by this point, mostly out of anger, and Dr. A was his usual wonderful self and reminded me that I haven't done anything wrong. He felt bad that he even had to bring it up, but he wanted to make sure that no one in his clinic had actually said anything like that to me because if so, he would need to address it. I assured him that while although I have been very verbal about my dislike for Dr. B, all of his staff have been very professional and tactful in response to my rants and haven't said a single "defaming" thing about him. If you ask me, Dr. B should be suing himself. He defames his own character every day by acting like a prick. And if you act like an asshole, you're going to get called out on it. Work on your bedside manner and maybe people won't flee from your practice.

So ladies, if any of you, or anyone you know, ever considers working with Conceptions Reproductive Associates of Colorado, I strongly urge you or them to reconsider and look elsewhere. It's not worth the angst. And it's too bad, because they really do have some fabulous people working for them. But Dr. B is the worst doctor I have ever encountered. Period. The end.