Feeling Minnesota

Officially finding out we're pregnant the day before heading back to work was not my favorite thing. I really shouldn't complain because going through IVF over the summer was ideal. I just want more time to really soak it in and enjoy it. I'm finding it hard to enjoy though. Since conceiving was so difficult, it's hard to believe any of this can go smoothly. I wonder if I would feel so cautious if I had gotten pregnant naturally. It sucks how infertility robs us of that innocence. I have a hard time thinking as far as April. I'm just crossing fingers and praying that we make it to August 31 for the first u/s. Every little thing I feel internally freaks me out a little. I've had some discharge today, and every time I feel it I run to the bathroom to make sure it's not pink, red, or brown. I did spot barely for a few days when I should have gotten my period, but since then nothing. I also feel like my ovaries still aren't back to normal. My pants don't seem to fit comfortably and the slightest pressure on my abdomen still bothers me a little. I also feel little twinges and cramps every once in a while. I decided to be completely lazy all weekend to ease my mind. (We did have a nice dinner on Friday night to celebrate our anniversary though. 5 years!)

I spent most of today watching the PGA Championship at Hazeltine. It made me miss Minnesota. All those lakes, and weekends spent at the cabin. I always envisioned that for my own kids. Colorado has its own perks, but having not grown up here, I don't know what a family is supposed to do here. Certainly not lake stuff, and that's my favorite. Maybe winter weather reports from home in the coming months will fade these feelings a little. But being prego does make me a little homesick.