As far as two week waits go, this one doesn't seem to be torturing me as much as I originally expected it to. I only really felt crazy the first two days post transfer because I was convinced I should be feeling something already. Yes, I know. Crazy. But now I'm 6 days in and I still don't really have many symptoms to be honest. Saturday night, at 4dpt, I had some fairly strong cramps that lasted all night. If I had been at the end of the 2ww I would have been convinced my period was going to start imminently. My chest really started to feel uncomfortable yesterday at 5dpt, and I started to experience small tingles like the last time where it almost feels like milk letdown. Then again, maybe that's all in my head. The chest discomfort doesn't mean much to me because it's been pretty tender ever since I started the estrogen patches. Yesterday it just felt like it increased a notch. I don't feel any hungrier, sleepier, or moodier than normal. I don't think I'm having as many little cramps and uterine twinges as I did with my last two successful transfers. I do have a dull headache today, but it's probably from fighting off a stupid cold. So, who knows? I've now entered the hardest part of the 2ww. I could probably take a test tomorrow and get a definitive result. Most likely my last trigger shot will be out of my system, especially since for some reason only .25ml was left rather than .5ml so I only got half the dose I should have. However, I am holding strong to my plan to test Friday night. I do NOT want to go through this whole week feeling let down by a BFN. I have too much going on at work to be in that headspace!
Once again, I'm feeling like I'll probably see a negative result. Here are my top three reasons why.
1. Seriously. Who in their right mind actually expects to see a BFP?!
2. I'm pretty sure only fertile whores can do three separate elective single embryo transfers and get knocked up every time. Right?
3. I have felt like the universe has conspired against this cycle from the start. I don't know why exactly, but it just seems like things haven't been as smooth as in the past. Switching clinics stressed me out and I feel like there's some sort of bad karma lingering out there from Dr. Bush. Then my lining didn't look as good as in the past. The first transfer didn't take. Noah got sick the day of the transfer and I've been desperately trying to fight off his germs with limited success. Sleep has been hard to come by as a result. It's probably all a little silly, but I really do feel this way.
The only thing that makes me feel a little hopeful is to look at the picture of the embryo and smile. It really is a nice looking embryo. I hope it looks even better in about 37 weeks!
So, until Friday!
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Well, I am thinking positive thoughts for you!!!
ReplyDelete(By the way, you totally don't have to do this, but every time I comment or *try* to comment on your posts, I want to ask this of you - you should consider taking off the "security" measures where we have to type in the numbers/letters from the picture before we can comment. Half the time I forget I have to do this when I try to comment on your blog because it doesn't come up until after you press publish, and by then I've left the tab to go to another tab. I got rid of it on my blog a long time ago and have maybe gotten 1 "spam" comment, which was immediately recognizable as spam and I deleted it.
Again, you don't have to do this, it just makes it a LOT easier for people to comment. And I like you, so I'd like to be able to comment easier! haha)
I had no idea I had captcha on. Yuck! I hate those codes. I will look into this!
DeleteYou are pregnant! You are pregnant!! I am chanting this for you!! = ) I am thinking good thoughts & BFP vibes for you!!
ReplyDeleteJust this once, I hope you're a fertile whore.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Mom
First off, your Mom makes me laugh...hard. Second, I hope the cramping 4dpt was some serious implantation. Third, you are a rock for staying away from the sticks. Sending tons of good luck and sticky thoughts!
ReplyDeleteYou don't know until you know....and hope what you know is positive...
ReplyDeleteHi from ICLW.
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling about your cycle being doomed. About the same time in my IVF I felt like the world was against me. Don't give up hope! The pictures of my two sweet blasts are what got me through my 2ww. That and a lot of support....